April 2025 marks 20 years since my father passed. Not an anniversary that would normally deserve highlighting in a professional setting – except……
The whole devastating experience prepared me for my role here at Music for Seniors in ways I could never have known, and can only see now, looking back.
In the late 1990’s Dad began to develop a seemingly random collection of symptoms, the most frustrating of which was difficulty speaking. As a small-town pastor, this was a crisis as he couldn’t work without the ability to speak clearly.
After a number of misdiagnoses and much confusion, it became apparent that there was no clear-cut explanation, so we worked with a number of specialists including a team at NIH who tracked his condition and studied what was happening.
About 2-3 years following the start of this journey, the home environment was no longer the healthiest place for him to be and we selected a memory care residence for him.
As you may imagine, being unable to communicate generates a great deal of frustration, and Dad struggled near-constantly with severe agitation.
During this season of his illness there were two things that could calm him and bring a measure of peace: Charlie, the caretaker’s dog, and music. In the months he was still able to move around he would sit outside on a bench in the enclosed garden and Charlie would join him, somehow knowing what Dad needed in those moments.
As he was more and more confined to his bed, Mom bought a stereo system for his room and made sure the staff played music constantly. Specifically, the music he had loved and listened to during his lifetime. It was remarkable how music helped to calm his agitation, hence the request to play it constantly.
Dad passed away in 2005 at the age of 51, after over six years of decline. His final diagnosis was Frontotemporal Dementia, now referred to as Frontotemporal Degeneration, or FTD.
Fast forward twenty years, and I find myself leading this special organization, Music for Seniors. Our whole purpose is to bring live and interactive music to older adults, promoting engagement, entertainment, and education, promoting health and well-being, reducing isolation and enriching the lives of all participants.
And over 50% of our program participants require some kind of memory care.
You can’t tell me the challenges we go through in life are meaningless, or that they don’t prepare us for specialized opportunities for impact. In fact, as a woman of faith, I can see how God brought something beautiful out of tragedy by allowing me to serve in this role. Having seen the impact of music in helping my Dad through his illness, I have a greater passion for this work, along with compassion and a sense of understanding for people who are navigating the challenges of neuro-degenerative illnesses such as Alzheimer’s and dementia.
Each of us, as we age, will face a variety of challenges and opportunities, many of them completely out of our control. But everyone deserves the opportunity to age with dignity and quality of life.
In the past twenty years, research has identified a definite connection between music (particularly live and interactive music) and brain health. Music can help both prevent the onset and slow the progression of neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and dementia. Participating in simple percussion exercises can help ease the tremors of Parkinson’s.
Music and memory are closely tied together, and for people in later stages of Alzheimer’s music can “bring them back” for a while, often causing them to light up and begin singing along to every word. This is powerful for the individual, and a precious gift for caregivers and loved ones who are able to see the transformation firsthand.
At Music for Seniors we are committed to making live and interactive music accessible to older people, both in public and private spaces. If you are interested in learning more, either about what we do or about music and the mind, please reach out to me. If you’re here in Tennessee, I’d love the opportunity to personally show you the difference this work makes for older people and their loved ones.
To help make these special moments happen, visit us at musicforseniors.org or text “thebeat” to 41444 to learn how to join the Rhythm Section, our exclusive community of monthly givers who help to make this work possible.
And if you’re in the middle of your own tragedy, take a deep breath and keep going. At some point, you’ll be able to see some beauty emerging from the pain. If you need a friend, reach out.
Thanks for reading my story, and thanks for helping to make the world a better place for each of us as we age.